• Mahima Pandit, Kunal Kishore

Incurable Madness

A mist in the dark night,

A dream scattered as the moon shines

The howls from far and beyond

the mind lost along with the time

Is the mind playing game with me,

Or am I being buried in the dark woodland

or are these my memories crying

while I sink in the past sand

This past sand, feels so heavy and cold,

Signifying as if I am trapped, alone.

Sometimes I hear my own crying

echoing inside my tombstone

Echoing I hear, seems of my death,

Or am I still breathing, alive?

Pleading yet another chance to shine in sunlight

and then the walls almost closed up on me,

you could even hear the silence of death

The silence, I want to run from,

The silence, I never want to feel again

The silence, wishing it was just another nightmare,

With the feeling of a grave night,

Walking me towards the cries, howling, darkness,

That I never want to hear or feel

for I've lost all my energy

fighting the emptiness within,

lost time lost soul lost myself

and a lifetime lost within the sinking ship

Far sight I see myself,

Drowning, as if crying for help

Running, as if I can't feel my breath,

Turning my head, as if, to call out to someone,

Will I ever be rescued by anyone?

But, I just see myself in a death trap

I scream but not a soul to listen,

and cry yet no shoulder to lean

to stop my eyes from closing

not even a knock on my coffin

Shattered as I lean on my knees,

Catching my head to stop these misbelieve,

But goes on continuing,

Making harder to focus on what's reality

Sure there are skeletons around me

some friends some family they say,

I hear their hearts beat yet

I find myself standing alone

Facing myself like a card of ace,

Either I am above the king or joked as one,

Facing a reality of the deck,

Either my symbol is different or their color changes

surrounded by magicians am I?

just being played around

snapped upon, make me vanish

or is it all just in my mind

a magical dream all of it

No, it's not a dream,

No it's not a nightmare,

But, they were my delusions.

Relieved of the sweat and anxiety, after taking my pills.

Who would've thought schizophrenia can be this harmful?

Such instability between reality and delusions.

Can I ever be cured of?